máquina sencilla

normally when i say these things out loud to anyone they don’t happen.  so i’m telling my blog.  sshhh its a secret! ok, what? oh yeah.  sorry i’m a squirrel i’m easily distracted.  but thats not the secret.  the secret is that in a year and a half i just may be moving out of my home into an apartment with my brother.  you’re like “wtf, this is exciting for you? do you jump up and down when the mail man comes too, lame-oh?!” but the thing is living with my bro wouldn’t be too bad.  see, we’re both pretty much alike.  he’s like an atheist, pro-legalization of marijuana, bill maher fan-boy.  and even though i’m not out to him, i think he knows. i mean, he’s caught me on autostraddle like four times.  basically living with my brother wouldn’t be bad.  as long as he doesn’t make me watch avatar.  ::shudders::

that crush on that stupid boy is totally over.  he listens to ja rule unironically.  gross.

so i had another blog.  and it was all about me being confused, using very vague language and uninteresting stories (except for the one about the chicken egg in mexico, because gross is always interesting)  and i hated it so i deleted that bitch.  but right now i feel muffled and in this odd little daze that feels like i’m screaming under an invisibility cloak but no one knows because they’re all under a muffliato charm (yeah that was TWO HARRY POTTER REFERENCES, DEAL WITH IT) but anyway it’s been almost a year that i dumped my ex.  almost a year that i’ve had to sit around and think shit through and cry at weird times and laugh by myself (seriously, shit got WEIRD) and act twice my age in public and be a bitch baby by myself and I’M DONE.  I’M FUCKING DONE.  i’ve realized a lot of things:

a.  i like being single.  even if that means i have to masturbate more and go out by myself, but whatever i’m owning this shit.

b.  i’m bisexual.  and it’s fine.  i was in love with a girl for like a year.  right now i’m pining for a stupid boy.  and either way i’m okay.

c.  i’ve decided i’m agnostic.  or a lax catholic.  but i hate the creepy catholic government.  so i’m agnostic so there.

d.  i’ve let go of the hope that i can still be friends with most of my old friends.  they probably all hate me and that’s okay.  fuck it you guys, i’m going to be a rockstar.  

e.  i don’t want to be a mother.  seriously.

f.  Destiny’s Child was right. 

so this blog may not be better but at least i’m happy about it.  welcome if you’d like a look, and the doors over there ::points:: if not.